January 9, 2012 is a day that I like to pretend does not exist. That’s the day I will become a working mom. I will leave Caroline every day in the care of a wonderful nanny and it absolutely breaks my heart. So much so that I’ll admit, I am having trouble writing this post without crying. Oh, I can’t lie to you. I am crying.
I know that our situation is in no way unique to us, almost all of my friends are working moms. Caroline will thrive and be a happy child even though I am not home with her full time. But wow, that mom guilt is real, isn’t it?
In an ideal world, I would work out of my house full time and take care of Caroline, but we don’t live in an ideal world. Instead, I have an employer who has been more than generous with maternity leave and is allowing me to work from home two days a week and to change my hours so I can leave earlier in the day. I am so fortunate not only to have a job, but to have the job and coworkers that I do.
Thinking about January 9 makes me incredibly sad, so instead of focusing on the negative, I will focus on the positive of the next month and 8 days. I will appreciate every second I have with Caroline, even when she wakes me up at 4 am not to eat but to play. I won’t count down the days.
When January 9 comes along, I will do more to make sure she knows how much I love her, even though I won’t be with her all day. I will remember that I am lucky to have spent the first 22 weeks of Caroline’s life with her. And I will look forward, every day, to the moment I get home and see my smiley, giggly girl.
Working mamas, help me out. What advice can you offer to make going back to work a little easier?